I’ve been reading some very disturbing news lately about corporations and the contributions they make to our tax base (or lack thereof). Apparently, many of the companies that had received money as part of the economic stimulus program actually owe the IRS back taxes. Some as far back as 2003.
While Colonel Sanders and General Electric pay no taxes at all (while raking in billions of dollars a year) I’m eating Captain Crunch for my three squares. What tax loopholes does Uncle Sam have for me?
Time to brush up on tax laws.
After doing only the most basic research, I was able to draw only one logical conclusion. Tax laws defy logic. Whether you use a trusted accountant or use a free IRS efile option, you’d be wise to get acquainted with the unusual tax quirks that apply to tax payers in the state in which you reside.
Here are a few taxes I found to be particularly interesting:
Chicago’s Soda Fountain Tax
If you buy a Pepsi (but only in a glass or cup) you’ll pay a 9 percent tax. It’s only 3% if its still in the bottle.
Utah’s Sex Tax
If you are the owner of a business that employs “nude or partially nude individuals perform any service” then your business must pay a 10% “sales tax”.
Maine’s Blueberry Tax
A three quarter cent per pound tax is levied against anyone who grows, sells, buys, or handles blueberries in the state.
North Carolina’s Illicit Drug Tax
Just go to the Department of Revenue and pay tax on your fix. You’ll receive stamps to affix to your illegal substance as proof you paid your tax…just before they apply the handcuffs.
New Jersey’s Jack-O-Lantern Tax
Purchase a pumpkin in New Jersey and there is no sales tax. That is, of course, unless you decide to carve a Jack-O-Lantern from it. Then the standard state sales tax applies.
Ohio’s Cadaver Make-Up Tax
If you go to your favorite salon in Akron and they apply makeup, you pay a makeup tax. If you’re dead, the funeral parlor can apply the same makeup FOR FREE. Dying for a make-over?
And here’s my favorite, all the way from Germany…
Germany’s tax law allows private businesses to write off the costs of bribery on their corporate income tax returns.
Remember, should you find yourself in a brothel with a German dignitary and a gram of cocaine, be sure to save the receipts.
Richard Rossi is a guest blogger, published humor writer and childrens book illustrator from Greensboro, North Carolina. His work can be found on the web at www.rossibook.com.
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Those are completely crazy… makes me wonder about all those random laws that are still current in some states…
lol this is hilarious. I particularly love your quirky German tax.
P.S. I’m with you on GE vs the rest. Its just unfair
Virata Gamany